In a McDonald’s restaurant, a family of five was quietly celebrating a member’s birthday when suddenly one of the small boys shouted at his cousin, also of the same age. They were arguing because the complainant was angry that the culprit drank from his plastic cup of Coca-Cola. His mother tried to soften him up by saying it was not the other child’s intention to do so and that they would just give him more soda. It only made him more vengeful even though he was not interested in the drink anymore. He screamed at the top of his lungs which drew the attention of more customers. His mom and grandmother were embarrassed by the spectacle and asked the children to leave the area in a hurry.

This situation is just one of many which make us think of how to deal with kids throwing tantrums in a quick and forgiving manner. How does a parent tell his child that he’s hurting another person’s feeling or that his manners are impolite? Here are some suggestions that you can apply:

Avoid embarrassing them in public. When they get scolded or teased in front of many people, they feel humiliated. It’s understandable that they are upset with not getting the toy or snack they wanted. To show their resentment and have your attention, they cry and howl or both. Manage your mood and theirs by keeping it cool and treating them as you would with responsible adults. Keep control of the loudness of your voice, breathe in and out, and advise them that they cannot have what they want all the time because of several justifiable reasons. Or better yet, avoid places that they like to frequent to prevent stressful circumstances for both of you.

Use white lies. With a little white lie that you are going to leave them behind if they don’t behave, they will stop crying and look for you. There are times when using lies is unavoidable especially when it comes to immediately changing their attitude. As they get older, they may see through the lies but you have already instilled in them a routine or habit to act decently in public.

Reward them if they calm down and behave well. Not only do they learn discipline but also feel happy in achieving something that will help them become more mature in the future (only they don’t realize it yet). Simple prizes will do like a hug or a kiss. If your child likes to play outdoors, you can allow him or her 10 minutes more of spending time outside. It may not be advisable to give them sweets as it can cause obesity or tooth decay if overly done or if they are not gently reminded to care for their teeth afterwards.

Let them reflect on their behavior at home. Upon arriving in your house, let your child contemplate on his actions for five minutes in a closed room. Be serious and use simple words for them to understand that they did something wrong. Something like: “Think about what happened today and why you are sitting here by yourself.” They would realize that they were not nice and that they have to change their conduct as you expected them to.

The suggestions may not work for all types of children but the love and thought you put in disciplining them can be felt and understood when they, too, become parents.

By Jin