Humans are innate social beings; we rely on personal connections to thrive and grow. These connections are so valuable to our development and it’s scientifically proven that human beings will naturally take on the mannerisms and talking style of those around them to better connect.

With that said, a few Americans make the leap to Qatar. And when I say few, I mean fewer than the amount of folks that come over from the U.K. So much so that I’d argue that the mother tongue in Qatar is U.K. English.  As an outnumbered American, sure I’ve adapted a bit of lingo, which definitely wouldn’t fly back home in Queens, N.Y., and which isn’t the point of this piece. I’m not trying to convince you to reject the change and shout “Merica!” at every street corner. I’m here to inform my fellow countrymen don’t be deceived by those cute English accents. These accents are merely a Trojan horse to repurpose innocent words as insults.

All right let’s get into it, your buddy from the U.K. has just called you a “lettuce” I guess you’re imagining that you’re green crunchy and filled with plenty of roughage? I guess that’s nice?  Wrong!  They’ve just called you lame and should they amp it up to a “wet lettuce?” Well what’s better than clean veggies?  Wrong again! You are now very lame.  Sticking with the salad theme, something you don’t want to be is a tosser (pronounced TOSS-ah); again those cute little accents are as honest as the Wizard of Oz. I mean, the Quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys is a tosses passes but the intent here is much less flattering.

Follow me down this rabbit hole and it only gets worse.  “Mug off”, guys before you get up and grab a coffee mug from the kitchen, this person is telling you they don’t appreciate your company. A strong comeback I’ve found is well “Mug on then.”  Inquisitive looks will follow but fighting fire with fire is the best strategy with this light-hearted and whimsical bunch. Speaking of fighting, please do not feel complimented if you’re called a “weapon.”  It’s NOT a strong and dangerous kind of a tough guy, not at all.

Well guys, hope this helps you follow the cheeky folks. (See I’m getting it!)

 

Bonus: Chopper, they aren’t quoting Arnold here guys, they are calling you a tool.
P.S. They say aluminum funny too. 😊

 

Written By: Sharif Salameh